Next Time

I wanted to take your arm
To stop you
To let everyone else pass
And leave us behind
To inhale you as you exhaled
To smell you
Taste you
The thought was candy
Rolling and twisting in my mind
Pondering the bold raciness of such
An act with someone
I could barely see
In the moonlight
And only talked to
By the moonlight
And merely walked with
Under the moonlight
With someone
Who one hour prior
Was a stranger

It all seemed right
The moon made it so
The unusually warm night
Whispered it
The undulating river bed
Confirmed it
The silent canyon
Yearned it
The high plateau that
Stretched before us
Ached it
When everyone paused to rest
When you reclined atop a rock
And stared up
The coal gray sky sang it

Then... I lost you
You were with me
But no longer with me
Along the narrow mountain pass
The steep upward climb
Was a little too difficult
A little too long
Where we were
Was not where the clock said we would be
You complained
Appalled by a wrong turn
Exasperated by a backtrack
Indignant with the organization
Annoyed by my laughter
As none of it mattered to me
So that time quickened
You ran the road
To fetch the car
And left me standing

Watching the moon-shadow
From the mountain crawl towards me
I could have continued as we were
High on the surrealness
Absorbed in the timelessness
Drunk with the need for sleep

There is no "next time"
There never was
The phrase only a pacifier
We learned to suck from our parents
A pacifier that coddles us
From the reality of endings
A pacifier that falsely asserts
An individual
Can resurrect the now at will

Failing to convince you
I let you go
Because you were tired
Because camp fires took too long to start
Because two hours driving outweighed sleeping here
Because your bed was more comforting than stars
Because the distant mountains obscured the true sunrise
Because holidays were for working
Because you expected me to wait
You waved bye to me, smiling
Next time