Pointless Game

What do you want me to say
that I haven't said before,
recorded in infinite strings
of yeses and nos?

What do you want me to do
that I haven't done before,
attempted and failed
in senseless frustration?

Where do I find understanding
when nothing is understood,
rolled in circuitous
discussions between your thumbs?

Why must your comfort create
a chronic sense of discomfort,
tainted desire, clandestine
and wicked pursuit?

What do you want me to feel
when my feelings blanched of color--
a rainbow from love,
jealousy, sadness, to not?

Where do I hide my shame
for permitting acts so shameful,
discrediting my eyes
and contradicting my thoughts?

How can I hope to repair
the irreparably hopeless,
when teamed with half-minded efforts
gifted by a half-heart?

And why do you continue gaming
when the game undoubtedly ended,
when pretending innocence
fails to recover that
which we both lost?