everything

there they were
on the opposite couch
snapping selfies together
with cat ears
mouse whiskers
and button noses
giggling.
one cradled
in the arm pit cubby
of the other.
everything i ever wanted.

holding back the love
i didn't run to join them.
the child in me remembers
that adult
burning days
claws on my arms
slaps on my face
stinging words
scratching in my head
biting down the tears.
everything i never wanted.